Fatherhood requires a lot, that I can very much attest to, as I have seen it in my dad. It will first put you under pressure and some scrutiny, but once you get past that, it rewards you with a child. Then, it gives you another test: How much you can do and give up for to protect and nourish an infant. As a toddler, you engage him in toilet training, eating vegetables, restricting television viewing time, etc. It never stops there: Just when you thought that your kid is growing big enough to tend for himself, he starts going to school! The first day of school can be embarrassing. You walk/drive him to and from the institution. This goes on until he gets confident enough to go to school by himself. You have some time to focus on other things until he starts high school. In this stage, he starts “developing.” It’s the awkward stage of every guy, so conversation delves on voice changes, pubic hair, pimples, grades, and girls. Girls, girls, girls. This goes on and on until college. Then, mid-college, conversation turns to current events, ideas, causes, what you believe in, all those stuff. Come graduation, you put pressure on your kid to start looking for a job; and he dare not get a girlfriend yet, not until he is employed and self-supporting.
I don’t really know. It’s my first Fathers’ Day without a dad, and I don’t miss him. Which is not to say that I disrespect his memory either. I just don’t “feel” like missing him. Some of my friends who’ve also lost their dads at earlier points in their lives say that they’ve had the same experience. They add that eventually, after about three or so years, you will feel that his presence is not there—suddenly, everything is different—because he is not there physically anymore.
So I guess I’m still normal if I behave this way. I’ll just cry, feel lonely, and revere in his memory when the time comes.