The Aspirations

Are as comfortable in front of a camera as behind one? Being written about, as well as writing?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us DISCOMFORT.

—from Daily Prompt: Tables Turned | The Daily Post


Either way is fine for me, but I actually prefer to be the subject.

I am vain.

I do everything in my power to look the very best that I can. I am conscious of my face: wrinkles, wrinkle lines, pimples, pimple scars, sun spots, general scars, moles, warts, blackheads. I wage war against facial blemishes.

I am also conscious of how my body looks. I am still in the process of shedding off extra body fat in order to bring out my abs. I want to show off a well-toned and tight physique as soon as possible. To achieve this, I eat less carbohydrates; eat more fruits, veggies, and low-sugar & low-fat drinks; and incrementally increase my protein intake.

My friends say my hair is starting to fall out. At age 26, that is another problem that is unacceptable to have. I have to think of a way to avail of effective solutions (Hair transplant? High-end hair growers?) to address hairfall.

I miss posing in front of DSLRs, but as long as I haven’t achieved the look I want to convey, as gleaned from above, I’m lying low.

I want to be a musical celebrity.

I’m regularly doing vocalizations and taking classical voice lessons. I listen to myself weekly and work on my vocal embellishments. I’ve recorded myself, but they’re of the amateur grade. I’m trying to save for a demo record (about PhP30,000.00 at least). I don’t want to go the route of YouTube and reality competitions; they leave trails that you will cringe on later in your career. But if I get really desperate … if I reach that level … well …

I write, I create social media content.

Obviously, I’m a blogger. I write whatever I feel like writing. I post on my interests. I write/talk about anything. So far, no one has written about me. I also vlog. I write scripts and read them while recording myself with a webcam. I talk about topics that interest me, or experiences I’ve had every week. Lately though, I’ve been feeling tired to make scripts because of a day job.

Somehow, this post has turned into an outlet of frustrations, depression, and self-imposed stress. I do hope to read this in the near future and find achievements in the fields I aspire to accomplish.

And now, I realize, why did I get the day job in the first place, instead of focusing on my attempts for celebrityhood? Money. I need it as fuel to get to where I want to be. Why is life a paradox?

Again, this has gotten out of hand. The original topic was on comfort/discomfort when subject and creator have changed places.

Either way is fine for me, but I actually prefer to be the subject.


Published by

Recis Dempayos

Budding YouTuber / vlogger, occasional blogger, aspiring multimedia artist.

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