Letter to My Jogging Pants

I hate you.

I can’t believe what you have done. Undeniably unforgivable! I will not let you live it down. I promise, you will suffer my unquenchable wrath for as long as you exist. Not only that: I refuse to wear you ever again. I’ve already decided to dispose you and put you where you belong — a dump site with a raging incinerator! My mom was against it; she actually suggested that you be demoted for home use instead. This, I believe, is a very light punishment for what you are guilty of. So instead of wearing you as sportswear for whenever I go jogging, to taebo class, or to the gym, I’ll use you around the house? This, of course, is very unfortunate. For me. Why me?

But I refuse! I will definitely never use you again! My mom may be kind but I’m not. She may patch up that rip on your crotch and suggest that you are well for use again, but I’m not giving in. Specially for taebo class; I’ll never use you or any of your kind when I do a high kick ever again! You may have noticed everyone’s reaction at that unfortunate incident, haven’t you? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! I don’t know if they knew! I just stopped after hearing an embarrassing “Riippp …” for I knew then and there what you have done. You didn’t have the decency to hold on to yourself!

Granted, no one reacted in a funny or teasing way. No one laughed. No one smiled. As I said, I don’t know if they knew!! Save for the girl one row behind me on my right who seemed to be smiling to herself. I didn’t know if she was smiling because she couldn’t follow the routine or because she knew something else. Something about you at that precise moment! Because of you, I had to leave taebo class early, which the instructor thought was unusual of me since I have always finished the routine to the end. I had to walk all the way to the nearest taxi stop to take me back home immediately. All while concealing your dirty deed! Thank goodness I had my jacket to tie around my waist and you up! What an experience, thinking that the only thing that separated me from the outside world were my briefs!

Which brings me to my next resolve: I will cease from wearing loose-fitting clothes made out of thin materials as much as possible! I have found tight-fitting but well contoured clothes with thick or medium-thick materials more durable than the likes of you. From now on, my wardrobe will undergo a strict overhaul! You have no one to blame but yourself!

Good riddance to you. Hope you’ll find satisfaction lying in an old box in the utility room, patched up or not, depending on whether my mom will remember to tend to you.

Cheers!
Recis Dempayos

P.S.: I’m not reminding her.

P.S. 2: Tomorrow, I’m going to taebo class with your more appropriate cousin, jogging shorts.

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Recis Dempayos

Budding YouTuber / vlogger, occasional blogger, aspiring multimedia artist.

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