Column: Moving Forward

It’s been more than a month since dad died and I stopped almost all forms of communication, including social networking. So here I am now, back in the blogging world, getting my system back in order. The past month wasn’t actually painful—in the way that losing a loved one should—it was actually more hectic than hurtful. You know, managing the funeral services, church services, clerical work, food and menu, entertaining visitors, getting the house back in order, the 40-day Filipino mourning custom, etc.

I’m actually pissed off with all that has to be done. And I’m not even through with dad’s retirement benefits, funeral and burial benefits, the land titles, house registrations, affidavits, etc. *sigh!* No time to grieve, indeed!


So I needed a diversion from it all. I was so damn busy that even blogging was put off. And I must say, it’s great to be typing all my thoughts into the WordPress text editor once again. It’s so nice to be back!


Another form of diversion that I wanted to do (and haven’t done for a month now) was reading. And with the love month, I opted, of course, for a romantic novel. As usual, I looked to Nicholas Sparks. The current movie adaptation from his novels is Dear John, starring Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried. I was taken by the trailer and supposed that the story was great—it’s all about an army guy and a simple student gal writing letters and how their lives changed after the events of 9/11.

Naturally, I wanted to read the book first, so I went out and got the original paperback, then read it on the 14th, Valentine’s Day.

I was disappointed.

Is this the way Sparks writes his novels now? The protagonists didn’t get together in the end. Here I am looking forward to a romantic ending, one that epitomizes that love blossoms eternally; and they didn’t get together. I asked myself, “Where are the days of A Walk to Remember? The girl (Savannah, played by Seyfried in the movie) in Dear John was also spiritually grounded, like Jamie in AWtR, so what the hell happenend? That was it?”

I thought Savannah wasn’t strong enough to wait for John (played Tatum in the movie), so she had to fall in love with Tim (another guy) and marry him. What happened to Savannah’s belief that “…other couples don’t have what we have” and the faith in what they shared? Tsk! Tsk! Poor John indeed! He deserves a better girl rather than someone like Savannah. Actually, in the beginning of the story, I liked Savannah’s character; later on, I thought she turned into a traitor… a… … …uhm… slut. Bwahehe!

What probably made the novel touching to me was the story of John’s relationship with his dad. If it was left out, I would have assuredly put the book down.

I actually related to John’s hardship of relating to his father. Well, sure, I just lost my dad, so I guess that factors in a lot with my sympathy. I actually cried more in the moments that John spent with his dad compared to those spent with Savannah.

I suddenly realized that Dear John isn’t a love story—it’s a father-son novel.

I also realized that if you consider the romantic angle of the novel, it becomes an “emo novel”—so full of pining/longing, heartache, tears, and one-sided love—perfect for emo-minded youngsters out there. Yuckz!

If you’re looking for a good love story in Dear John, look somewhere else. It’s not a happy ending, it’s not a sad ending (completely) at all. I didn’t find it fulfilling for my romantic needs as it dwelt on the “Love changes our lives/outlook” premise.


Because I was disappointed on the story arc of Dear John, I decided not to watch the movie. In it’s place, I think I’ll watch Wolfman or Legion, whichever is showing. The trailers looked badass!

I also found another trailer on YouTube about an upcoming movie titled, A.D.. Check it out:

An animated zombie movie! I am anticipating it!


Now, I’ve been inspired by Dear John to take on the crew cut look. I went to the barber and told him to cut my hair in a crew style.

It looks like I just had my hair cut short or, I just let a buzz cut grow out! Is men’s hairstyling that conservative now? Maybe it was my fault; I didn’t tell the barber that I wanted a militay-ish crew cut. I was expecting something like this:

or this:

Oh well. I’ll wait ’till next month (when my hair grows out) to try again.


Earlier today, a female college student got hit by a van just a bit in front of me. I did nothing but stare as other people approached the girl to help out. I had the instinct to help, especially since I’m a nurse. I did nothing. What’s wrong with me? Have I lost the fight in me? That strong and powerful urge? Frankly, I don’t feel very confident anymore. WHAT IS FREAKIN’ WRONG WITH ME?!


Published by

Recis Dempayos

Budding YouTuber / vlogger, occasional blogger, aspiring multimedia artist.

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