Like I have said 9 posts ago, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor will be the next flick that I will watch on the big screen. So there I was, seated in the dimly-lit cinema, later realizing that I wasn’t really enthusiastic about this film, that I could have waited for the DVD release, and that I would rather get out of the theater and head to the computer shop to update my blog. But I sat through it anyway. Besides, I already paid for my seat and I shouldn’t waste the money, right? But I got more than just a viewing experience. I had that experience again.
Before I knew it, a mouth-like figure suddenly emerged out of the screen and engulfed me. The last thing I heard before being eaten was what I said, “Uh-oh, here we go again…” Later on, I was falling down into something like an abyss, a tunnel, with kaleidoscopic colors all around. I was a bit frightened, as this experience was different from what I went through in the past. At the end of the tunnel was something that seemed like an opening, rimmed with a bright light. My head knocked on the opening; it was sealed by something transparent—a glass perhaps. With an aching nose, I looked beyond and I saw Jet Li. “What’s going on? Where am I? What’s this? Why is he there, while I am here?” Blood was beginning to rush so hard all throughout my body. Suddenly, a voice boomed at the end of the tunnel: “Years ago in ancient China…” It dawned on me that I was here to watch a movie, and I remembered that I entered the cinema to watch The Mummy 3. I remember being eaten by something that came out of the screen. I expected to be part of the film, but no: I was watching the movie someplace, in a parallel universe of some sort; maybe it was part of the cinema’s promotional experience for viewers of the said film. I looked around but all I could see were the mix of colors and shapes of a kaleidoscope. There was no one around. “Help!” I shouted. “May tao ba diyan?” (Is somebody there?) No answer. I was alone. And I was right, I’m in one of those experiences again.
Ever since I came of age and continued my movie addiction, strange things happened to me. Whenever I watched a movie, there would be that off-chance that I would get sucked into the film’s universe, into the story itself. I become part of the film, playing the role of on of the characters—the protagonist, the antagonist, the supporting characters, or one of the minor characters. But this rarely occurred. I just can’t understand why NOW, I’m in a weird universe instead of in the film’s universe.
The voice stopped, so I anxiously peeped through the glass and saw Brendan Frasier, fishing. I then remembered that Frasier’s character is named Rick O’Connell. “What’s happening? Maybe I’m just delusional. Schizophrenia?” I thought about the factors that could have triggered the mental disease. “Maybe I’m just thinking that I got sucked here, that ‘m just experiencing a delusion.” I looked through the hole and saw Maria Bello as Evelyn Carnahan-O’Connell. “I wish Rachel Weiz reprised her role. She was in the first two movies and I think she would make this third installment more worthy of anticipation. But, Bello does look good. Wait a minute; Rick and Evelyn are retirees of the espionage game? I didn’t know that they were spies!” Aside from this, I found out that it has been 14 years since The Mummy Returns and although changes have set in, everything looks pretty much the same. After some minutes, I saw whom I believe to be the O’Connell’s son: Alex (Luke Ford). “Was it that long after the second movie? Alex was a dumb, helpless kid back then. Yeah, right. Like he actually resembles his father.” By then, I looked behind me. It seemed like the way I came in through was narrow and small for me to fit in. It seemed like I was at the wide end of a cone. “How did I get here?”
Just then, action music started playing—you know, upbeat tunes whenever a character gets into fights. I saw Alex fighting a ninja spy (or maybe a Mediterranean assassin), only to find out that the spy was a she. “Hmm… nice eyes,” I thought. I remembered that the time-setting of “The Mummy universe was in the 1920’s to the 1940’s. I kind of expected to see advanced technology that would be of great aide in tomb raiding and mummy hunting. Just think, cell phones for communication, tracking devices for car chases with mummies, heavy firearms for an army of mummies, blah, blah. But anyone, this way, the mummy adventures would be more thrilling. So there I was, watching a movie in an unknown dimension. I figured that like in my past experiences, I would get out of here anyway, when the movie ends. Obviously, I didn’t have a choice but to watch and wait.
Everything went fine. When the film got to the part where our heroes were in an airplane to the Himalayas, I felt a strong heartbeat. And again. And again. “Uh-oh! Please don’t I don’t want transportation again!” But it happened. Like waking up in the morning, I opened my eyes to see five people’s backs. It was Rick, Evelyn, Alex, Lin, and Mad Dog Maguire. Beside me was Jonathan. “*sigh* I’m part of the movie…” I tried to see whose part I was playing. I was shocked to see that instead of hands, I had hooves. “Wha…?” I wasn’t sitting, I was standing—on four legs! “Hah?” And then, Jonathan said it, “…this Yak…” I stopped for a moment before letting out a “Moohhh!” sound. “Of all characters, I get stuck playing a Yak? You’ve got to be kidding me!” That was when I started feeling drowsy and had the urge to vomit. And, well, maybe you don’t want to think about it. I never realized Yak vomitus smelled and tasted that gross!
I had to accept my fate. I carried the O’Connell’s baggage while we treaded through the Himalayan mountains. After a long and tiring day, we reached a ruin where we spent the night. I was fed and treated like an animal. “Oh, the humiliation,” I thought. I wanted to kick these people’s butts, but I didn’t. If I disrupted the storyline, I might not get back to the real world. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alex and Lin talking. “They make a cute couple,” I thought.
By morning, we reached our destination, and Jonathan let me loose. “Okay, where do I go from here?” I climbed the hill next to the destination place (I didn’t know what it was called) and opted to observe their moves. It’s great watching a movie within the movie itself—seeing it all actually unfold before your very eyes. The enemy came: General Yang, his soldiers, and the Emperor. “Wow, I didn’t think I would see an actual stone statue walking, and breathing fire.” There was crossfire. Lucky for me, I was in a safe place. I saw that the good guys were getting beaten, when suddenly, a trio of Yeti came out from the mountains. “Yeti are real?” They helped our heroes against General Yang’s soldiers. However, they were no match for the Emperor himself. The Emperor let out this deafening scream that can actually pop your ears. Then, I saw him place a shining stone on top of a tower. It lighted a path unto Shangri-La. Just then, Alex threw a bomb, which triggered an avalanche. At the same time, Rick got stabbed by the Emperor’s dagger which was aimed particularly to Alex. “Oh no, Rick! An avalanche! Help!” were my moos and howls. The Emperor tried to stop the avalanche, but he couldn’t. It was coming, when the Yeti came to protect our heroes. “Okay, good…hey…wait…what about me…?”
The avalanche was coming. “Oh no…don’t tell me I’ll die here…” I felt the snow covering me up so fast. “Aaaggghhh!!!…wha…?” I was in a dimly-lit place. I was sitting. I was back at the cinema! A big swarm of relief covered me as I was back in the real world. I was sweating profusely (due to my encounter), so I continued sitting, relaxed, and enjoy the last half of the movie.
I’m sorry if you had to endure a long post. It’s 08-08-08 today, so, with everyone’s practice of doing something new on a day like this, I opted to do a different post–something different from the monotonous posts that I’ve done ever since I started blogging. 😀 It’s pretty obvious that I did enjoy the movie. In the first place, I wouldn’t do this literary piece if I didn’t care enough for it. Hope you enjoyed this post and The Mummy 3, as much as I did.