I wrote this poem when I was feeling depressed over a paternal conflict. I’m so glad I’m sooo over it! 🙂
Here I am with a heart in disarray.
A swirl of ideas and emotions
Haunting me until tomorrow’s sunrise.
Afraid that tomorrow might be worse,
I look beyond the turmoil
Yet all I see is reality.
When all I wanted was change,
Was all torture my only choice?
Was all pain a consequence of my actions,
When I stood amidst the deafening noise?
How about the one who lies
In a seat of overflowing authority?
Never was I content of his rule
Still, I obliged to his request.
Now that I had the courage to be set free,
He blurted out a weapon
Thus, setting me again in chains.
Was I wrong, Lord?
The lighter side of me voices out,
That I was all along.
Yet the stronger never concedes without a bout.
Help me, Lord.
This war drives me senseless.
My hands want to kill
Either him or me.
But you are there,
Warding off the venom of hatred
But the wounds are difficult to bear.
The word Gulo is a Filipino term equivalent to the English terms: disorder, confusion, or being disorganized.